You Have a Core Story

I wrote this on my personal blog this morning and decided to share here, as well. To those who follow both blogs, my apologies for duplication! 

This past weekend, I went to my second favorite place on earth, Barnes and Noble. The interesting thing about B&N for me is that I mostly find myself walking through their doors when I’m in need of escape and, oftentimes, during a shadowy trial in my life. In times of need, I return to my first love. Books.
Even though I own a Nook and could download most any title effortlessly without the commute, nothing satisfies like a hot cup of Starbucks (greatest business duo on the planet, incidentally) and a pile of hardbacks while nestled in an uncomfortable chair tucked in a corner. 

I somehow find peace there, in the midst of people who speak too loudly and children who run unsupervised. That’s an unexpected irony for someone like me, my natural tendency moving in the opposite direction from those who are “laid back”.

It turns out that I came across a book last weekend which was fascinating even after reading the jacket, helping me to identify why I’m not laid back.  This book has challenged me and I’m not out of the first chapter! The premise is that we all function as adults, be it positive or negative, as a direct result of our Core Story. Each and every one of us have the personality that God created in us but we also carry the story of our upbringing, the events of our childhood, and the lives our caretakers modeled.
As I have mentioned here before, I love my parents. They provided a meticulous upper middle class home and none of my basic needs were unmet.
I had the ice cream sundae childhood in comparison to many but I may have been missing the “cherry on top”. My Core Story lacked faith in anything greater than man and my Core Story lacked affection, honor and even integrity. Most importantly, maybe, above all things is this: My Core Story lacked security and peace…. and I wonder why I am not the laid back person I long to be?

I’ve learned that passivity and peace were actually personality traits God blessed me with before the world around me had its way. I remember that little girl, quietly content and absorbed by books and aspirations. I’m just beginning to remember who she was before she chased validation from the wrong people and places and before she had her heart broken.

Really broken, not childhood crush broken.

My “cherry on top” as an adult is that I have hope to regain who I was meant to be when my Creator set about my blueprint. I have the promise that my Core Story can be conquered; in fact, I can use the deficits to my advantage according to this author..and though I don’t know how yet and can only dare to imagine the possibility of it actually happening, I am going to try. And I will keep you posted.

James 3:18 (Amplified Bible)
And the harvest of righteousness (of conformity to God’s will in thought and deed) is [the fruit of the seed] sown in peace by those who work for and make peace [in themselves and in others, that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts].

Be blessed!
Amy