It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To!

I've been working slowly and thoughtfully through a book during my quiet times called Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The book's premise is that many of the struggles Christian women face are rooted in the lies that they have come to believe over time - lies about God, relationships, self-worth, emotions, sin, and priorities, for example. The further along I get in my study, the more I am learning about why I react to things like I do or why I've always struggled with a particular sin as opposed to some other. It's really pretty liberating, and God's been faithful to grow me in those areas that I've been willing to bring into the light. This week has been tough though. I'd place it under the heading of "Things-You-Need-To-Know-About-Yourself-But-Really-Don't-Want-To Hear". Yesterday, I dug deep into the lie that tells me "I have my rights.".

Though I adamantly denied placing any kind of expectations on God for His blessing and favor, my emotions and behavior indicate that I definitely believe I have a right to certain things. And since I had already decided when I started reading the book that I wasn't going to lie to myself about anything presented, I thought that I may as well do a little homework to see if expecting things of God and claiming my own rights are one and the same thing. Two "exercises" helped me get real.

First, I started making a list of things to which I believe I have a right. For example:

I have a right to have my husband and kids help out around the house.

I have a right to a good night's sleep.

I have a right to be understood.

I have a right to time off from work and an occasional vacation.
I have a right to be treated with respect.

(And, of course,) I have a right to be angry when my rights are violated.

As I looked over my list, I realized that most, if not all, of these "rights" hinge on the blessing of God. Does that mean there is really little, if any, difference between claiming my rights and demanding them of God? I think the two are more similar than most of us care to admit.  The Bible says that it is God who holds all things together; it is His Spirit that moves in the hearts of men; all authority is under His feet, right? So when things don't go as planned, and I get mad, am I holding God responsible? The question prompted another reality check, so I thought back to the last three (3) times I got really mad at God. It took a little time, but you know what I discovered? Pride. The bottom line in all three situations was that I was angry with how things turned out because it inconvenienced or slighted or hurt me. I had worked so hard. Life wasn't fair (to me). Things made no sense (to me). Why did that have to happen (to me)?

The Old Testament tells us about a prophet named Jonah who serves as a powerful example for us on this subject. If you've never read this book in The Bible, stop now and go read it. I'll wait for you. Jonah believed he had a right to minister where he wanted to minister, and it was NOT Ninevah. Ninevah was an awful place, he thought, and "those people" were pagans." Jonah believed he had a right to hate the Ninevites, even to wish God would judge them harshly for their sin. Instead, God forgave them, and Jonah was ticked! He had a pity-party and temper-tantrum all rolled into one. Rather than feel sorry for him or stroke his wounded ego, God got straight to the heart of the matter when he asked Jonah, "Do you have any right to be angry?" (Jonah 4:4). He had to ask the question again in verse 9. Poor Jonah was clueless. And often, so am I.

DeMoss states in her book that the key to living the Christian life is found, not in insisting on our rights, but in yielding them. That is exactly what Jesus did. He traded His home in heaven and His position at the right hand of The Father to take on the form of man. He came to people who did not receive or understand Him. He humbled Himself, even to the point of death on a cross. ...Kinda makes my right to a good night's sleep look pretty lame. Maybe next time my loud neighbor keeps me awake, I should just stop and pray for him. And maybe the next time another one of my rights is violated, I should just let it go. I should look for a way to model Jesus to my world, instead of pouting and setting a bad example. It's something I'm determined to work on...I'll keep you posted on my progress.

~Maria