Not Enough Time

I had major surgery two weeks ago and have been recuperating at home. I thought I'd have lots to blog about while I had a little extra time but, surprisingly, the urge hadn't hit me. Then, last night, I sat with a friend - a mother who is living every mother's worst nightmare - and thoughts poured through my mind. Unspeakable words. Senseless tragedy.

I layed in bed last night and thought of this beautiful, sweet boy and his grieving family, and I cried again. I was overwhelmed by the affirmation that darkness is real, and it is slowly swallowing up our children. We live in a culture that no longer values life. If the erosion had happened from one day to the next, no one would have stood for it, but it happened over decades, and those of us who should have spoken up were silent. Now that I want to speak, I find myself unable to...I'm at a loss for words. Questions that are spiritual in nature have become political, and I can only imagine how it saddens the heart of The Creator.

This is what I want to say, what I have to write.

Life comes from God, a precious and delicate gift. And while it is up to us to make use of the lives we're given, we've got to understand that we're just stewards. I'm not the "captain of my ship", and I've certainly got no authority to define for someone else what his or her "quality of life" should be. The truth is, life is hard. It's messy, and it's troubling. Much of the time, it hurts. We've bought into the lie that we deserve something less difficult, less painful, less uncomfortable and challenging, and we've raised a generation with that misconception. Now, they're paying the price, and so are we.

Before he went to his room last night, I told my son I loved him. I hugged him a little tighter than usual, and I looked him in the eyes to say, "There is nothing so bad that we cannot get through it together. That will always be true. God is bigger than any problem you will ever face, and that will always be true. He always has a higher purpose, though you may not see it, and He will always redeem the messes you make in life. That is His character, and it will always be true." 
If only I could share that message with every depressed teenager who has been deceived by the darkness and sees no way out....If only I could go back in time and share it again with this one, this boy being missed by his mom today.  

~Maria