The day ends and I have forgotten to say thank you.
Another sunrise, another beautiful day encroaches and I am angry and irritated at people who fail my expectations. "I am sorry God, it's just a bad time right now. Stay there, I will be back in a minute." And yet another moment of procrastination with the Father. I can feel his arms hug me in the warm breeze as I walk to my car. He is still there. Oh good, I'll visit with Him tomorrow, I think to myself, as I cram in lists of what needs to be done by noon. The day ends and I have forgotten to say thank you.
A beautiful rain storm and cool breeze follow the next day. I am frustrated over my plans being canceled because of the weather. I gather my to-do list and try to accomplish as much as I can on this one day... to make the most of it, again failing to "fill my tank" so to speak. "Ok God, I will devote some time with you as soon as I am done, maybe I will crack the bible a little later." I pull in to the driveway and see that my lawn looks greener than it has in the past and the hibiscus looks happy and healthy. As I walk under the tree, I feel tears on my shoulder. Raindrops falling from the leaves penetrate my shirt. "I know God, I overlooked you again, I will do better." Another missed opportunity to rest in His arms that remain open and patiently waiting for me to surrender. The day ends and I have forgotten to say thank you.
Another day passes and I am blessed repeatedly... blessed by my husband who is the most wonderful man ever created for me, blessed by my children, all of them, mine and his....blessed by my grandchildren who are gifts straight from Heaven. I am blessed by the friends that He designed just for me. The day is filled with laughter and food and sharing. Goodness abounds and I feel like I can conquer the world. "God, I am having a great day, I am going to get back with you tonight and I am going to bend a knee and acknowledge all that you have given me." The day passes in to night and I am so exhausted that I fall asleep on the couch until my husband gently reminds me to go to bed. Another day and I have forgotten to say thank you.
How many of these conversations have I had? Endless weeks of "busy"...endless weeks of "I'll get back to you" and yet I know that He is always there. The very second that I take a moment to reflect on Him, it is as if I never left. I know as a Christian woman that there are valleys and peaks in my relationship with my Creator. I have fervently pursued His word and His will for my life, and there are times I have selfishly procrastinated. Even with all of that, there is never a time that I have felt abandoned. The very second that I reach out, He is there, reaching for me. I don't deserve that kind of patience or loyalty or grace, but it is there. He doesn't know any other way to love us. That's just who He is.
Peggy
Simply BEAUTIFUL Peggy! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis is so True Peggy...I find myself doing the same thing then it takes one moment that touches us...I was sitting in church at my friend's Bluegrass Gospel Opera and the Reverend said "What is in a name?" He goes on about his name and ties in passages from the bible. I think my daughter Abigail's name means "my fathers precious gift" (which I have been thinking about for some time now) and I realized all the doctors, evaluations, and struggles were not me doing it all alone but that I was able to be persistent and my daughter's advocate because God was there helping me. Sometimes, I am tired, frustrated and sad and then she walks into the room and smiles and says something that touches my heart. At that moment, I thank God for giving me such a wonderful daughter. So, Lately I have been thanking him more and more even for our smallest progress. Through him I am strong and tireless.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it we always put off "God time". I know I always have big plans to spend with God when all He really needs is a "Thank you Father" as I go through the day. For each thought if I just send Him a "shout out" at that very moment then I don't have to feel guilty about not carving out a "special" time for Him. Why can't that be enough sometimes I wonder?
ReplyDeleteSo true. His grace is so rich...and it blows my mind.
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